Now, that's not great. But this is all a positive procession of luuurve in comparison with what our pink friend the lobster has to contend with. None of that gentle preamble torture stuff. Oh no. Screw him. "Let's boil him alive! He tastes better that way!" It is a widely held belief that lobsters do not feel pain. Think again. Oxford University zoologist Dr. John Baker, found that lobsters dropped into boiling water, showed "powerful struggling movements" for up to two minutes and he concluded that these were not reflex actions but indications of pain. He also experimented with other methods of cooking them, such as starting off with the water cold and then gradually heating it, but concluded that this just led to more prolonged suffering.

NOAA Spiny lobster, Panulirus marginatus, endemic to the Hawaiian islands.

Lobsters can live for over 100 years and carry their young for 9 months. Like us. And according to invertebrate zoologist Dr Jaren G. Horsley, "The lobster does not have an autonomic nervous system that puts it into a state of shock when it is harmed. It probably feels itself being cut... I think the lobster is in a great deal of pain from being cut open... and feels all the pain until its nervous system is destroyed" during cooking.

Now, think of when you last spilled hot tea or coffee on yourself. Did it hurt? Now imagine being boiled alive in a bath of boiling water. If you thought a lobster had even 10% or 1% of your capacity to feel that pain do you think it might be just a little cruel to do what we do now?

"Ok. Ok. Lobster's out. But what next? Worms? Wasps? Plants? Should I stop eating asparagus now because it might be having a bad day. If my tomatoes scream out in pain where is there to go? I GOTTA EAT SOMETHING!!!"

Calm down. I feel your pain! Just use your head and try to limit it to inflicting it on yourself and the people around you, and not the rest of the planet! Personally I have a simple philosophy when it comes to food and life in general. If it once breathed I don't eat it, and I try not to halm it. Have I ever squashed a worm or splatted a wasp? Absolutely. I try not to make a habit of it, and if I do it is generally an accident. I don't much like wasps and frankly I am not going to start up a 'Wasp Protection League' anytime soon. The less of them in my house the better. But unless they are attacking you or you are allergic to them (in which case splat away - self preservation baby!) then what's the harm in putting a glass around them and letting them fly away into the garden? Who knows, they might even do you a favour and sting the neighbour you don't like!