Ok. So asteroid impacts are revitalising, energising symbols of rebirth and also gave us a whole science, paleontology. But the good news doesn't stop there! No Sirrreeee! Asteroid impacts are also just great at producing lakes. Let me explain. Massive asteroid. Flat ground. Asteroid hits ground. Creates crater. Crater fills up with water. Ready made lake! Now, truth to tell, the science behind this is potentially dodgy. What if the sucker hits the desert or the sea? Ok. Admittedly, there are flaws in the logic. But this is marketing people! Screw the truth! It's hearts, not minds we are trying to engage here! In my vision of asteroid impacts it hits at exactly the spot that needs a lake. Then it rains a whole lot, a mysterious (but helpful) fish transporting company fills the new lake up with fish stocks, and 'Way to Go!' an ecosystem is born!

So, we now have all the raw materials we need to create an upbeat advertisement about Asteroid Impacts for the new soft-drink product I am launching called 'Asteroid Cola!'. Picture the scene...

Camera pans around to rolling countryside and fields of daisies. 'The Rite of Spring' by Debussy is playing in the background. All of a sudden a red moving dot in the top right of the screen rapidly comes closer. It is a raging fireball of rebirth. Otherwise known as an Asteroid. It impacts the ground on the hillside, and a pool of dust is thrown in the air, blocking our view of the scene. (Silence building to Drama...) From the dust an ethereal glow builds from pale to vibrant orange. To the left lies a crater. In the centre of which lies the still hot form of the asteroid. Bubbling beneath the asteroid is water as it has uncovered an underground spring, and slowly, but surely the crater begins to shimmer with life giving water. Steam rises potently from the fireball. Camera pans down level with the daisies. The flowers are covered in dust, but the camera is now level with the stems and we look out as though through a forest. The music changes to the Hallelujah Chorus by Handel and the stems in the distance metamorphosise and intertwine together to form a T-REX in outline shape, but green, tactile and made of blooming flowers. The T-Rex opens its mouth and roars and its petals are shaken clean of their dust. A world is reborn. Genesis. The caption comes up on the screen - "Asteroid Cola"; followed shortly after by "Impact Your World".

Wonderful things asteroids. I'll drink to that.

Copyright - Stuart Brown