Scientists at the University of new Mexico have found that lap dancers earn more during estrous - the time when female mammals are at their most fertile.

Researchers often claim that estrous was lost at some stage during evolution, and that there is no way of telling when human females are “on heat”, but this paper seems to show otherwise. They’ve used what must be the most reliable indicator of anything on this planet – money.   

Lap dancers working in “gentlemen’s clubs” were asked to keep a diary of their menstrual cycle and the amount of money they took home each night. Lap dancers who were on the pill had a consistent amount of tips throughout the month. However their co-workers who had a natural menstrual cycle had a peak in earnings during their fertile period.

So the punters handing out dollar bills must subconsciously sense if the woman dancing for them is at her most fertile, which appeals to them at a very primal level. But how do they know? Other studies have shown that women dress, smell and look more attractive during estrous and they generally feel more self confident. I would imagine that a combination of all of these factors would make for a sexier lap dance.  

It is scary to think that our moods are predetermined, and that even the way we dress is controlled subliminally. It would be really useful for scientists to build some kind of device, which would sit next to our alarm clock and tell us what kind of day we were likely to have before we even got out of bed. We could then arrange any important meetings or presentations for the days when we have the biggest biological advantage.

I suppose this may sound silly but surely there is no harm in playing to our strengths? There is the other side of the coin however. Years ago I read a horrifically sexist article in a popular lads mag which showed the readers the best ways to use their wives throughout their monthly cycles. This included a calendar marked with the best days in each month to get us to sort out their paperwork or do the housework. It also highlighted the days when we should not be allowed to drive the car lest we crash during a particularly tricky parallel park.

Nice.  

Click here to take a look at the paper.