Slaphead Science: A Brief History of Baldness Cures

Genes are behind most of the bald and thinning heads out there, male and female. You can inherit baldness from your mother or your father. Baldness is not passed only through the mother's side. A quick look at the countless number of bald fathers and sons will nullify this myth.

How Hair Works...

How an astronaut could potentially look if they donned a purple wig

The head has about 100,000 hair follicles, little hair factories that continuously produce hair under normal conditions. When a hair falls out, a new one grows in that same follicle. Hair loss begins when a certain enzyme converts the hormone testosterone into another hormone called dihydrotestosterone (DHT).

DHT is critical in the male fetus development. The hormone also stimulates long, usually unwelcome rigid hair on the chin and cheeks, different from a beard. Later in life, for reasons unknown, DHT starts bugging the hair follicles on the top of the scalp. These follicles continue to produce hair, but it is very fine and short, a peach fuzz.

The hair follicles on the side of the head, also for reasons unknown, are not affected by DHT. They continue to produce thick hair, hence the "monk ring" of hair that is left when other hair falls out. The bald gene (actually, there may be many, researchers think) makes too much of the enzyme that makes DHT.

Minoxidil was introduced as Rogaine in 1988. This topical solution maintains thinning hair from falling out through, believe it or not, some unknown process. Minoxidil was first a blood pressure medication; hair growth in unwanted places was a side effect.

Finasteride entered the arena in the 1990s, marketed as a pill called Propecia or, in higher doses, Proscar. Taken orally, these pills maintain hair that would have been lost by inhibiting that enzyme responsible for balding. These drugs have to be taken continuously, or hair loss returns.

That's the state of hair loss and growth today. Rancid hippo fat and goat urine are not popular remedies anymore, but equally foolish and exotic Chinese and Far East herbal remedies are readily available for purchase through the Internet.

Many products claim to be secret formulas. I get a kick out of the implied conspiracy. "Dermatologists don't want you to know!" Yes they do. Doctors aren't interested in holding back baldness cures; they'd make more money selling cures that work. There's no worldwide plot to keep you, your husband, or your brother bald.