Asteroid Cola - Impact Your World - Asteroid Impacts

News emerged this week that President Bush almost got a nasty wake up call in the middle of the night last month to tell him that an asteroid was about to hit the Earth. You will be pleased to hear it missed. It was believed at the time to be about 100 feet across, and would most likely have exploded with the force of a one-megaton bomb several miles up in the atmosphere. The shock waves would have set off hurricane-force winds. So localised destruction may have been on the cards, but global destruction never was. But nevertheless despite the fact it missed, it is still fabulous news if you happen to be making a television programme about Asteroid Impacts, as a lady I know is ("Go Jo! Go Jo!"). Because it could undoubtedly make for an interesting ending to the programme. The script will probably go something like this...

"Between Hope and Despair lies a desert. (Cut to picture of the Gobi desert with a dinosaur looking satisfyingly dead!) Humanity stands on the brink of destruction. (Dramatic Pause) And nature is rolling the dice." (Cut to a graphic of spinning dice rolling ominously towards the forlorn, but beautifully green Earth) - Roll Credits as the dice sail on by into the distance like passing asteroids.

Gleeful researchers aside though. For the rest of us it is more a curiousity then a heart-stopping moment. And we really need the marketing spin on the subject to convince us that there is much to worry about.

So, step into my marketing masterclass corner for a moment and consider the parallels with Coca-Cola. The thought that Coca-Cola has advertised themselves as 'Teaching the World to Sing", or as "The Real Thing", because "Coke is ..." (Bet you can fill in the blank!) Shows that you can take just about anything, including carbonated beverages that are no doubt tasty, but also fabulous at cleaning dirty coins, and with enough emotional advertising make the world feel warm and fuzzy about them. I propose to do the same today for Asteroid Impacts and a newly associated product I wish to sell, Asteroid Cola.

Ok. So let's start by considering what is fabulous about Asteroid Impacts. The first thing that is obviously wonderful is that they are not really destructive, but are actually symbolic of rebirth. I learned this lesson from looking at adverts for Tic-Tacs. If you are not familiar with them, then let me fill you in. 'Tic-Tacs' are basically tiny, orange or mint flavoured sugar. They are about half the size of a fingernail. So they are SMALL people. And yet because they are basically all sugar each tiny, tiny Tic-Tac is about 1 and a half calories (about the same as an entire lettuce! Well, maybe not, but you get the idea). So logically you would think the advertising would run along these lines...